Grammatical Errors Lead to the Best Sex
by Ms. Jessica Cullen
Summary: Bella starts texting a hot stranger, but a typo is what brings them together. "Ugh you know what I hate? Having cum in your mouth too long so it tastes nasty. You know?" AH, AU, M, Lemons.


**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight.**

**Keep in mind while reading this that this actually happened to me, and yes, it was very embarrassing.**

**It was a huge FML moment for me. **

**I know I haven't written in a while, and for that I apologize, but I couldn't get this out of my head.**

**The actual typo part though? That's a true story. **

**VOTE FOR PEDRO-**

I bounced my leg up and down impatiently, glaring sourly at the mirror directly across from me.

"Alice, hurry the fuck up! The mall closed five minutes ago, and you aren't even out of the dressing room!"

I heard her huff, "Chill out, Bella. The manager said that as long as I buy a lot of shit, I can stay after closing."

I rolled my eyes, "It's nine o' clock."

"So? Why is it such a big deal to you anyways?"

"Gee, Al, why do you think? One, I hate shopping, and two, I have nothing to do. Knowing you the way I do, you'll be in there for another hour, and I'm just going to be sitting here… doing nothing but waiting for you."

"God, Bella, you're so selfish…" she tossed something over the dressing room door she was in, "-there, entertain yourself with that."

I rolled my eyes again as I saw the gum.

"Thanks, Alice. The next few hours will be so much more bearable now that I have a fucking piece of gum. How will I ever be able to show my gratitude?"

She just hummed in response, as if she hadn't understood my sarcasm. I sighed and unwrapped the gum, sticking it in my mouth and chewing on it harshly, as if it would get me out of this hell faster.

Soon after I started chewing it, my entire face screwed up.

"Shit, Alice, what kind of crap gum is this?"

"Strawberry shortcake! Now shush, don't interrupt my clothes-gasm."

I got up and walked towards the bored looking girl at the cash register, "Hey, do you guys have a trash can?"

This gum was nasty.

She shook her head with an emotionless expression on her face, "Sorry, we aren't allowed to let customers use our trash cans."

I blinked, "Excuse me… what?"

She shrugged, "You heard me," she continued flipping through her magazine.

"It's a piece of gum, for fuck's sake!"

"Sorry for the inconvenience," she said, clearly not sorry at all.

I stared at her incredulously, waiting for her to say 'Just joking' and hand over the trash can. She didn't.

"Bitch…" I muttered under my breath and went to sit back down on the dressing room couch.

I felt my pocket vibrate and took out my phone, almost forgetting that I even had it. I flipped it open and saw that I had a text from an unknown number.

**Hey there : )**

I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked down at the text.

**I don't mean to sound rude, but who is this?**

I stuck my phone back into my pocket and looked around the store, debating whether or not I had the lady balls to stick it on the wall.

I sighed, knowing I didn't.

**Oh shit, sorry, wrong number.**

Alice walked out of the dressing room and spun around, "What do you think?" she asked.

"You look like a two cent whore."

"Thanks," she winked playfully at me.

**It's okay :] what's your name?**

Yeah, it was a creeper thing to do, but I was bored, and my mouth tastes like… bad gum.

_So you naturally ask someone who could be a pedophile what his/her name is?_

I thought the person on the other end would ignore me, but they didn't.

**And why should I tell you? You could be a serial killer for all I know. : )**

Even though I was thinking the same thing, I still teased them for it.

**Paranoid much? But damn, you found me out… I'm a serial killer in the disguise of a high school student. No one ever suspects a thing.**

I looked back over at the woman at the register and wondered if I could spit it out and aim for her hair.

**Ah, so you're a high schooler.**

I rolled my eyes.

**It's hardly fair that I indulged that information about myself, yet for all I know, you could be a ninety year old man who has connections to a hit man.**

"Almost done, Bella! Only a few more outfits to try on!"

I groaned. A few to Alice meant twenty to me.

**In my defense, I never asked you about your educational status, but I'm a high schooler too. Although, I might still have connections to that hit man you mentioned ; )**

Okay, so I could be talking to a freshman or a senior. I, myself, am a junior.

**I'm a junior, what about you?**

I hoped they wouldn't consider this question too… personal. I didn't know why it would be, but I was a complete stranger after all.

**Same : )**

I narrowed my eyes.

**You've just been giving me back all of my answers x) how about you offer up some information now?**

"I'm on the last fifteen outfits, Bella!"

I blinked, "How many did you have in the first place?"

"Um… I can't remember."

Right.

**Well, I'm a guy. How's that for you?**

I bit my lip, vaguely and vainly wondering if he was attractive. I chastised myself for that.

**Progress. I suppose that's one answer we don't have in common.**

Alice shouted to the manager, "Can you put back on the music? It's getting a bit… quiet in here."

The manager's only response was to start blasting the music, which made me wince. What the fuck was this?

_I love that lavender blonde._

_The way she moves, the way she walks._

_I touch myself, can't get enough._

What a moving message. Why was Lady Gaga famous?

**So you're a girl. What state do you live in? Please don't take that the wrong way : ) I live in WA.**

I debated whether or not I should tell him. I mean, he could probably find me off of that information alone, but something told me that I could trust him.

**I live in WA too.**

The manager of the store smirked at me before carrying another pile of clothes towards Alice's room.

NO. PLEASE NO.

I groaned. Wouldn't she be the one groaning? She's the one working overtime, right? Maybe she works on commission.

**Who's the one copying answers now ; )**

I giggled at his response, and then looked up at the mirror again. I blushed as I took in my smile. No one should smile like this because of someone they don't even know.

**Okay, my turn, I live in Southern Washington. **

I enjoyed this little game we were playing.

**Me too… school?**

Now I knew that if I told him that, he would definitely be able to find me. Every 'STRANGER DANGER' video I was ever forced to watch made me narrow my eyes at the text.

Did that stop me from answering him though?

Nope.

**Forks High School. Forks is a tiny, depressing little town with a population of about 3,000 people.**

A large part of me was nervous, because I knew this wasn't information you should give to someone you hardly know.

**Are you serious?**

That was the response.

**Um… no, I'm lying. Yes, I'm fucking serious, why?**

I glared at the sales person again as she took Alice more clothes. I think she's just doing it to piss me off.

Well, it's working.

**No reason. What's your name?**

Well, I already told him I was one of three thousand people in the world. Might as well narrow it down.

**Bella. You?**

I checked the phone on my clock. It was nearing ten.

**You can just call me 'E'.**

The letter made butterflies appear in my stomach. I didn't know why, but I immediately thought of Edward Cullen… it was irrational, because thousands of male names started with E…

Ethan, Edgar, Elton… okay, so they were all shit names, but it still counted.

I didn't really have the nerve to ask him about his name, so I let it be and decided to change the subject, still flustered while thinking of the Edward at my school who I sat next to in Biology.

**Ugh you know what I hate? Having cum in your mouth too long so it tastes nasty. You know?**

I was slightly frustrated with myself for not having the nerve to ask him about his last name or his high school. I never had that much courage when it came to guys, so it was a very Bella thing to do to not press the issue.

**What the hell?**

I was further confused by his response.

**Oh come on, doesn't everybody hate the taste of it? It just turns… almost sour, I guess. But it was kind of nasty to begin with.**

He responded about five minutes later.

**I never would've pegged you for that kind of girl. **

He never would've pegged me for a gum chewer? He doesn't even know me.

**Well, I got it from my friend Alice. We're pretty close and I was bored, so I guess she thought it would be entertaining. Not taking it from her again though. Tastes gross.**

"Only five more outfits, Bells!"

"Whatever," I shouted back, somewhat pissed at her for this twelve hour shopping trip. And guess who had to carry the bags?

Me, that's who.

**So you two are very close. Are you… close with anyone else?**

I squinted at the text. What was that even supposed to mean?

**Um, she's kind of my best friend, and we do this a lot, actually. She gets on my nerves sometimes, but she can make me feel awesome.**

It was true. Alice definitely knew how to make someone feel really special if she wanted to. Last year at the fair, she spent the whole day with me bashing Mr. Banner for no particular reason, and it was really fun.

**Have you ever considered doing those things with a guy?**

I hesitated, but answered anyways. These were odd questions.

**Not really, the relationship I have with Alice is special, and there's no possible way I could do the same things with a guy that I can do with Alice.**

That was also true. A guy won't spend an entire night painting your nails and watching Titanic.

**Um. I have to go, Bella. I'll… talk to you later.**

I wonder what was up with him. I shut my phone off and shoved it in my pocket.

"I'm done!" Alice screamed and walked out of the dressing room carrying a pile of clothing that was bigger than my wardrobe altogether.

After Alice paid for all of her crap, I walked back up to that manager, took my nasty ass gum in my fingers, and smeared it all over her fake red hair.

I winked at her and flipped my hair over my shoulder, "I bet you'll rethink that 'no trash can use' policy now, won't you Chuckie."

BEBE

"Can't we just skip school today?" Alice whined.

I laughed, "Not really, Al. It's already third period, so what's the point… and you know this is my favorite period."

She rolled her eyes, "Will you just ask him out already? You're a knockout, of course he'll like you."

"Yeah, okay."

Just at that moment, Edward walked by, and for some weird reason, he was frowning at me and Alice.

That was odd. Usually, he just looked indifferent when he looked at me, and normally, a change from that would be welcome, but not if it was a bad change…

Usually, Edward went out of his way to ignore looking at me. Hell, even in Biology, his leg was always bouncing up at down. I knew he didn't like me, but my presence really seemed to irritate the guy.

Just my luck, right?

"Bye," she said grumpily, and trudged off to her next class.

I however, was excited for third period, because that was the only period I had with Edward.

I took my assigned seat next to him and felt my face turn red with a blush.

_Way to be smooth, Bella._

Today, he shot me a quizzical look, and I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. When he finally looked away, I let out a shaky breath that I hadn't been aware I was holding.

The catch in my throat caught his attention, and the blush spread onto my neck.

_God, does he even know how much he's affecting me?_

"Bella, I-" I was shocked to hear Edward's voice. He hadn't spoken directly to me since… middle school, about six years ago.

I looked at him in shock, "Uh… yeah?" I asked quietly, since I didn't want Mr. Banner to ruin it.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by Mr. Banner starting his lecture.

Fuck, I wanted to know what he was going to say.

I looked over at him with incredulous, wide eyes, and his jaw clenched tightly. His hands fisted in his hair before he shot up in his chair, looking incredibly tense.

"Mr. Banner?" Edward said in a sudden interruption.

Mr. Banner blinked, "Yes, Edward?"

"I um… left my Biology book in Bella's locker. Can we go get it?"

What? I didn't even have a locker.

"Is this true, Bella?" Mr. Banner asked me.

I looked up at Edward, and he gave me a look that told me to agree with him.

"Uh… yeah, it's true," I said in a quiet voice.

"Very well," Mr. Banner sounded displeased, "-Hurry back."

We both nodded and Edward grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the room. The electricity that flew up my arm at his touch alone was embarrassing and undeniable.

"Edward, what-?" I started to ask, but he just shook his head and kept pulling me towards the guy's locker room.

"I can't go in there," I said flatly.

"The guys won't be back in here for another fifty minutes, Bella," he growled, and the tone of his voice was causing major reactions in my body.

He pulled me into the locker room and stared at me hotly.

I bit down on my lip and looked up at him, "What…?" I didn't know quite how to word it, but I knew that he understood.

He walked towards me, and pushed me flush against the gym lockers, pressing his entire body into mine.

He was breathing harshly, and his mouth was right next to mine. I couldn't help but stare at it, "W-what are you doing?"

He slammed one of his hands into the metal locker next to my head, and I jumped.

"Fuck, Bella… I just…" his eyes flickered down to my lips, "-I need to convince you…"

I was panting due to our close proximity, looking up at him with wide eyes, "Convince me of what, exactly?"

He leaned down and swept his lips across my jawline, "Bella… baby, I need to convince you that if you need _release," _he swept his fingers up and down my arms, efficiently making me shake, "- that a man can please you. Fuck, Bella, I need to convince you that _I _can please you."

He growled and smashed his lips to mine. I moaned at his aggressiveness and held onto his shoulders to keep myself up. God, the things he was saying to me were making my knees weak.

I'd never really done anything this reckless before, but I found myself all too eager to experience how he could please me… I'd wanted to know since, forever I think.

He pressed me even further against the lockers at my silent pleas. He wound his arms around me and pressed me completely against him.

I silently wondered whether or not this was just a dream, but I decided it wasn't because the feeling of his fingers on my skin was something I could have never dreamed up.

When he slid his tongue against my bottom lip, I collapsed against the lockers. He pulled away and grinned evilly at me before lifting me up and sitting down so that I was straddling him.

"Edward…" I moaned out as he licked and kissed my neck. I rocked into him and gripped his neck with my hands to keep steady.

He pulled back and looked at me, both of us heavy lidded and panting. Without words, he reached the hem of my shirt and pulled it roughly over my head, taking my bra with it, ripping it up harshly so that my breasts bounced with the movement.

"Fuck," he said in a low voice before diving in, giving each of my breasts equal treatment with his tongue.

I arched my back into him and started moaning loudly, "God… holy… fuck, Edward, please!" I kept screaming, and he pulled his head up and smirked.

He pressed his hand against my mouth, "Quiet, baby, somebody's going to hear you."

I blushed, and simultaneously moaned as he bucked his erection against me. I certainly couldn't wait to find out what he could do with _that, _and judging by the way he used his tongue, I could count on the fact that he knew how to please me, just as he said.

I moaned, far too loudly, and he crushed his mouth against mine again, stroking the back of my neck with one hand and rolling my hips against his with the other. I was a writhing mess on his lap, and I desperately needed friction. I stood up and unzipped my jeans. He followed suit, never looking away from my eyes with his heated stare.

Once we were both free of clothes, we just kept staring at each other with longing in our eyes.

My fingers twitched, aching to reach out and touch him. He sensed this and smirked, reaching out and taking my hips in his hands, pulling me close to him. I was staring down at his large erection with desire... he was beautiful.

He inched me closer to him until his cock was poking me in the stomach. I gulped, and looked up at his face with wide eyes.

"You know," he said, trailing one hand down my back, he cupped my ass with both hands and lifted me up so that I could wrap my legs around him, "- I want to fuck you so badly," he growled, grinding his erection against me.

I moaned, wrapped my arms around my shoulders, "So do it… fuck me… please," I begged, grinding against him shamelessly.

He groaned, turning us around and pressing me against the lockers.

He pushed the head of his cock into me, and I moaned loudly, pushing my hips out for more.

He smirked, looking me in the eye, "Baby, get ready, because I am going to fuck you so hard you'll forget all about your little 'friends with benefits' girl."

I was about to ask him what the hell he was referring to, but he slammed into me, going so deep that I could swear I saw stars. Suddenly, it didn't matter what the fuck he said, as long as he just kept doing these things to me…

He was fucking me so hard that my legs were shaking. A lock was cutting into my back, but I couldn't fucking care less right now. All I wanted was this. There wasn't a way in hell that I could possibly control the noises coming out of my mouth right now. He leaned his head against the locker, bringing his thumb down to where we were joined and madly rubbing my clit.

I screamed, pressing my nails into his back as I reached my climax. My entire body shook from the power of it, and it took only a few more thrusts for Edward to cum too.

He lowered us onto the bench, pulling out of me but keeping me on his lap.

I leaned on his shoulder, loving this feeling. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed his thumb in soothing circles on my hip.

"I gotta say," he said with a breathless laugh, "- I thought that would be harder."

I smacked his chest, "Are you calling me easy? Because I've never done that before in my life."

"No," he said quickly, "-that isn't what I'm saying at all. Just, because you're so involved with Alice, I thought it would be harder to convert you," he said with a wink.

"Convert me…?" I asked, utterly confused.

"Yeah… you know, to show you that having sex with a guy is better than having sex with a girl."

"What?" I asked, completely shocked and confused, "I've never had sex with a girl."

He sighed, still rubbing my back, "Bella, I have to confess, I was the guy texting you last night."

I knew it… wait, no I didn't. I didn't have a clue…

"Well…" I gulped, trying to take it all in, "-what could have possibly given you the impression that Alice and I were… ever… intimate?"

He laughed, "You're kidding, right?"

"Well… no. Not really." I looked at him quizzically.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and held it up to my face.

**Ugh you know what I hate? Having cum in your mouth too long so it tastes nasty. You know?**

I immediately slapped my hand over my mouth, blushing and embarrassed beyond belief.

"Edward… I didn't even realize… it was a typo. I meant to type gum," I ducked my head in embarrassment.

He looked at me incredulously, and I explained further, "I know how terrible that probably looked, and- hey, wait… is that all this was? Just a way for you to 'convert' me?" I asked dejectedly, preparing myself for the reality that he used me.

"Hey, hey," he said, lifting up my chin, "-No. That isn't what this is about at all… Bella, I have feelings for you. I guess I've been trying to find a way to tell you for a while, but when I thought I was too late, it was time to take drastic action," he winked at me and I laughed, leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Me too. I mean… I like you too, Edward."

I sighed, loving how perfect this moment was. He stroked my hair, placing kisses on my cheek.

"Just so you know… any time you feel like taking 'drastic action', it's fine with me."

**Hope you guys liked it! By the way, neither this story's Edward, Bella, or myself have any problems with gay people. He just wanted the girl he loved.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**REVIEW!**


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